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The Importance of Family Meals

“DINNER’S READY!“ IT IS A SIMPLE SENTENCE THAT CAN BE HEARD
at day’s end in each town across America. Every family has favorite foods and eating rituals. These identity markers have developed over time largely due to cultural food habits shaped by historical forces. The need to eat is constant. The reasons behind what we eat are in a constant state of evolution. But ultimately, what we eat and whom we share food with is very personal.

Since prehistoric times and the discovery of fire, groups of people have shared food. Mealtimes were events when the whole tribe or community came together. These group meals not only provided nourishment for survival; they strengthened each member’s sense of belonging to the group.

As time passed, mankind evolved from hunters into farmers and then into factory and office workers. Tribes evolved into villages, villages became towns, and towns grew into cities. Food choices in the industrialized world became less about nutrition and availability and more about the psychological and social needs driven by ethnic, religious, and economic factors. Mealtimes became less about the community and more about family gatherings.

For the first half of the1900s, family mealtime continued to be the focal point of the day. Families came together at the dinner table to eat a home–cooked meal and share stories about the day’s events. Strong family bonds were formed. However, by the last half of the 20^th century, the nature of meals and mealtime changed once again. Advances in labor–saving household technology and the women’s liberation movement enabled women to seek employment outside the home. Families searched for alternatives to cooking from scratch. Convenience foods, store and restaurant prepared meals, plus microwaves offered such a solution and quickly found their way into the American home. By 1999, 90% of all households had microwaves, and the average family ate out 140 times per year.

“My mom doesn’t use recipes. She just follows the directions on the back of the box.”

—A young family friend

Unfortunately, the tradition of family meals has lost daily importance in today’s world. Today, family meals continue to take a back seat (where they are sometimes eaten) to busy jobs, recreational activities, and hectic schedules. The results are an increase in children’s obesity rates and a generation of kids far removed from the sources of their food supply. However, renewed interest in family values and healthy nutrition has made home cooking and mealtime desirable again. Families are once again looking to share convenient, high quality, nutritious meals at home.

Why is it important for families to regularly have meals together at home?

1. To eat good, nutritious food

Meals prepared at home can be much healthier than those eaten out. Meal planning and preparation enable families to make better food choices and control portion sizes. Children learn basic cooking skills. In addition, home–cooked meals cost less and are often more time–efficient than eating out. See our recipes for meals in 30 minutes or less.

2. To know you have a place in the world

Everybody has a place at the dinner table. When someone is not there, the rest of the family notices. Family meals foster a sense of togetherness. Children (and most adults) need routine in their lives to feel secure, and scheduled meals create feelings of warmth, trust, and acceptance. Scheduled mealtimes provide families with more time together as a unit.

3. To learn the art of conversation

Family meals are a time when household members can keep up–to–date about what is going on with school, jobs, friends, and activities. Mealtime is an ideal setting for children to learn and practice communication skills, such as listening while others are talking, waiting one’s turn to talk, and expressing one’s opinion in a respectful manner. Mealtimes also provide the setting for children to learn table manners, social skills, and family values.

How can busy families find time to have meals together?

1. Make family mealtime a priority

Choose a meal that will fit everyone’s schedule. If weekday evenings are too busy and stressful, plan a family weekday breakfast or weekend brunch. When we were growing up, Sunday brunch was a family event held in the dining room. The meal you choose is not as important as actually scheduling at least one or two family meals every week. Communicate the date and time to all family members. Some families may want to write it on the kitchen calendar. If you are too busy for a family meal, you may be too busy.

2. Keep the meal simple and focus on being together

Serve a variety of foods and discover your own family favorites. It is exciting to experience new foods and taste sensations together as a family. A love for food and cooking creates a lifelong common ground for family members, no matter the age, gender, or social status. In addition, food forms the foundation for many traditions. Traditions create memories. Memories provide a sense of belonging. And good food memories will bring family members home, together, and to the table.

3. Assign tasks to each family member so that everyone participates

One person can set the table, one person cooks, another does the dishes. No one family member should be overburdened.

4. Keep mealtime pleasant and not stressful

Mealtime is a time for sharing. Keep the topics positive or neutral. Save discussions about family problems and discipline issues for another time. Children will be more positive about eating together as a family if they do not view mealtime as a time when they will be criticized or interrogated.

5. Create an environment that is conducive to a positive dining experience

Make mealtime an event. Light candles, play soft music, and decorate the table with flowers.

6. Reduce distractions

Turn off the TV and don’t answer the phone.

7. Eat, laugh, debate, and have fun with your family

Sharing food is one of lifeﾒs greatest pleasures. Real friendships are nurtured, and the body and soul are nourished. A home–cooked meal shared with the people you love is one of the best ways to relieve life’s daily stresses and anxieties and do something wonderful for yourself.

Why should adults, children, and teenagers eat together?

• Children do better in school.
• Children have fewer behavior problems.
• Teenagers are less apt to use alcohol and drugs.
• Children and teenagers say they like having time
  to talk with adults in their lives.
• Communication between children and adults improves.
• Children understand their family’s values and traditions.
• Traditions are created around food and meals.

*Washington State University Nutrition Education Research Study, 2002

An excerpt from The Food Philosopher’s® Guide to Epicurean Delights by Claudia Pillow and Annalise Roberts. © 2002 by Claudia Pillow and Annalise Roberts, Southlake, Texas 76092 U.S.A.

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